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Relationships 101

Relationships – Am I the only one who thinks Damage Control in a relationship is key?

Last night I watched an episode of NCIS in which a man was prosecuted for withholding information/evidence and I’m forced to admit that I too would probably be prosecuted for the same offence if I were to be put in front of a judge. In fact, the more I think about it the more years I add to my sentence. Let me explain.

If I accidentally dent the car or wash and ruin one of my husbands (Hub’s) ‘expensive dry clean only’ tops, I no longer rush in and blurt it out. I’ve been there and done that and I’ve seen the damage that can do to an otherwise calm and peaceful day. No, I prefer to considerately withhold the potentially alarming and argument inducing information until the right time when the same information can be delivered with less impact, in a casual conversational tone and often with the addition of a little humour for good measure. I call that damage control.

Similarly, and I really do think it’s fairly similar, when I go food shopping I usually (always) sweeten the load and my mood by nipping into the clothing section first. I buy a little something by way of a boost before having to drag my invariable dodgy wheeled trolley up and down the food aisles searching for fresh or frozen inspiration and 3 for 2 deals. I then hide the clothing at the bottom of the food shopping bags until I can stash it in my wardrobe unseen. The fact is I rarely find time for dedicated clothes shopping so if I come across a little fashion must have at supermarket prices then I’d be a fool not to snap it up and I’m sure Hub would agree with me if he were asked, which of course he won’t be. I mean it’s not like I do my food shopping in Harvey Nichols, we’re talking Tesco and Asda here. I gradually pull out and mix and match the new clothes with old ones with only the occasional raised bushy eyebrow from Hub. Again, you see, damage control.

I admit it’s not very upfront but then it does work both ways and if the Judge sends me down for this I’m taking hub down with me. You see, although I do the majority of the food shopping, Hub does pop into Aldi and Lidl to buy particular favourites that we like from those stores. He never parks the car in the garage but sometimes after shopping he goes straight into the garage before coming into the house. I have to inform you that the garage is a place that I never venture into as it has large spiders. Say no More! Hub knows this so hub can stash anything he wants in there, confident that I will be none the wiser. What hub forgets though, is that the receipt for everything he has bought is often still in the carrier bag containing the biscuits or whatever food treats he brings into the house. When I unpack the carrier that he abandons on the kitchen worktop, I can see, without even trying, the description and cost of the new car mats with rubber lining, canvas car boot organiser, 2 in 1 torch lamp or 3 in 1 window wiper, washer squeegee thing with extendable, long reach handle which I know will never see the light of day despite being bought with the best of intentions. Over time, they too are pulled out of the garage and used without formal introduction and with only the occasional raised but beautifully shaped eyebrow from me. Damage control, although totally misguided. Bless!

Maybe in a relationship ‘withholding evidence’ could be re named ‘temporarily storing information/goods intended to be gently phased in at a later unconfirmed date’.

So in my defence, Your Honour, I conclude that in a relationship honesty may well be the best policy but ‘damage control’ is what sets the record straight.

By Betty Right !